As someone who had already reached the 30year mark and currently in a more than 10year relationship, this story resonated with me the most among all the other books I had read thus far.
Hence, this feels blog because twitter has limited characters and goodreads…well, it’s supposed to be for book reviews not a blog of feelings.
I’ve been seeing the book in the #romanceclass community for a while now and have read posts about how it teemed with quotable quotes and right-in-the-feels thingies. But I told myself I could buy it some other time.
Until I heard an excerpt performed by Gio Gahol and Gab Pangilinan during the MIBF2016 All The Feels forum. To think I wasn’t even there and just watched through a post in the group.
The kilig factor was there and until now, I could remember how Gab delivered the lines and I immediately commented on the post asking the author to save a copy for me (She said copies will be at the #FeelsFest).
Come October 22 and I didn’t want to spend so much on books because ze fiancé had already called me out on my ever-growing pile of books I haven’t read yet. Although I wanted to buy everything, I couldn’t risk him noticing another batch of to-be-read books because we share a shelf and I had taken up more than my share. Anyway, I bought two and told myself that was all I’d take home that day
Then I noticed a curly-haired lady, a shawl around her neck whom everyone hugged and was really glad to see in the event. I had a feeling she couldn’t always attend bookish events. And then I saw her sign her book and I was like: Holy crap, she’s the author! And I remembered asking her to save a copy for me! I gotta have her book and have her sign and have a selfie with her!
And I did! I went home that day with four books! I told ze fiancé I won them all (it’s true for one though). He didn’t ask so I wouldn’t know if he bought it or not. I have a feeling he didn’t believe me one bit and just let my book purchases slide.
Reading the batch was another story. Trick or Treat preps in the office ate up my schedule. So as soon as that was out of the way, I took out all my new books, lovingly covered them in plastic, and decided to take three with me home.
Loveless, Childless, Clueless was one of them.
They were right. It was so full of quotable quotes I found myself copying them and making a calligraphy art out of them.
I finished the book in two days because it was heavy with feelings, my heart couldn’t handle the hurt in one dag had I tried to finish it in a matter of hours.
I couldn’t help but feel Anna’s pain. I couldn’t imagine the excruciating pain of breaking up with someone you’ve been with for the better part of your life. Come on, when I broke up with my first boyfriend of five months, I bawled almost everyday because every fricking song reminded me of him. But I got over it soon. But calling it off with a lover for fifteen years, difficult is an understatement.
I love the fact that even so, Anna tried new things starting with the haircut. They said that would be the first step to moving on—get a haircut and then everythig else follows. And it’s true—how women deal with breakups; that they bloom as if saying: You’re dumb for hurting me and letting me go and this is what you ain’t getting. You go girl! I supported Anna in everything she wanted to do because I couldn’t get inside the story and hug her and do these stuff with her. But in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t have that power because indeed, some things should be done alone. Sometimes, soul-searching helps you see the more important things like this other quote that struck me:
In comes the new guy and at first I was like…hmm…is it going to be Jay? Or Tristan? Because Enzo was too silent in the first parts of the Krav Maga class so I couldn’t point a finger on who’d be the guy to pick up the pieces and make Anna’s heart new again. (I’m very bad at remembering names, sorry). Until that scene in the park. That very scene that Gio and Gab performed and I was like… oh my god, it’s Enzo!
I was anxious when they were being tentative around each other during their first coffee date. It would be inevitable for Anna to keep thinking about Miggy but I was glad she thought of this:
Which was true and should be a rule for those who are returning to the dating scene after a long relationship.
Anyway, I was rooting for Enzo because he was doing everything right. And proving that chivalry is not dead. Especially when he took her out to the museum and their conversation just flowed naturally. I felt like they will be really good together. I was sure Anna was going to get her happy-ever-after.
But of course, Miggy had to shake things up by coming back to Anna’s life and sinking my #EnzoAnna ship. I was really pissed off that she didn’t give Enzo a chance. She decided too soon. Even when Enzo made a fair point when he said:
Women in their thirties would want to settle down and have families of their own. There’s an expiration date for our egg cells and the fear of getting to know someone and trying if it will all work out is high. That’s why I get Anna. Because if I were in her position, I’d also be asking myself: What if it fails too? What if we try and he also doesn’t marry me? Doesn’t want to build a family with me?
Call it trauma, but to me, Anna’s doubts were valid. And so was her decision (I reluctantly agreed with her in the end).
What I couldn’t accept however, was Miggy’s statement about not marrying her until he’s got enough in the bank. I was like: what the hell dude! If you really love her, a simple wedding would do. And I once more, would wish Anna would have given Enzo a chance.
They would have a long way to go—Anna and Miggy. A lot of compromising to do. A lot of healing. A lot of rekindling the passion to make sure the love wouldn’t die out. Because if the fire gets snuffed out once more, that’d be the end of it.
Hours after reading the book, my heart sill aches for all three of them—Anna, Enzo, Miggy. And until now, I still have a lot of reflections ignited by this story just like how Anna and Miggy’s friends suddenly changed profile pics into couple pics and all that. I feel like I’m one of their friends so let me do just that hahaha.
Thank you, Ms. Miren, for writing such a heart-felt story. It made me appreciate my relationship more.❤️ Can I hug you the next time we meet? 😭